My favorite passage from Josh Kilmer-Purcell's I Am Not Myself These Days in on page 115 when he is anticipating his mother's arrival:
"Even though we had prepared for weeks, the morning of my mother's arrival in New York City registers an eight on my personal anxiety Richter scale. Like a death-row inmate, I could deal with impending doom in the abstract. But getting strapped down to the chair while knowing the executioner was on a plane speeding toward me this very instant is nearly enough to make me call for a priest."
Ha! Okay, no issues there.